When I was 14, I ran away from home on a Greyhound bus to see Depeche Mode. No plan, no permission, no spiral of what-ifs. I just knew I needed to be in that room, so I went.
I was the girl who jumped off cliffs into the lake without checking the depth first. The girl who partied without doing the math on the consequences. I didn't overthink it, because I trusted myself.
Then I became a mother, twice, seven years apart, while my husband was deployed overseas. Then life kept piling on. Loss, a few career plot twists, and eventually a divorce. Single parenting in sunny California, with my family and oldest friends in another country. Beautiful, yes. Also expensive, transient, and short on village.
Somewhere in the middle of all that, midlife showed up uninvited, right on time. Because why not. The girl who trusted her gut turned into the woman who overthinks everything to death. Every decision got a committee meeting in my head.
One day I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the woman looking back, and worse, I'd stopped trusting her. I wasn't failing. I was carrying too much, mostly alone, with no one to hand me the playbook.
Then something started to shift. I found an amazing partner. I did the work. I don't want to be 14 again. I want that groove back, the fearlessness and the yes that came without a fight, just with everything I know now. I'm looking for the next iteration of me, and I think you might be too.
Here's the part where I'm supposed to tell you I'm a wellness expert. I'm not. I'm an operations manager.
For almost a decade, I've worked behind the scenes in corporate and for some of the biggest wellness coaches in the industry, including ones with their own Netflix series. My job was to build the systems that kept everything running, which gave me a front-row seat to what women say when the cameras are off. The snapping. The fog. The strain in the marriage. The quiet "I don't recognize myself anymore."
Then I noticed I was saying it too. I was building flawless systems for everyone else's life and had none for my own.
So I did what I do. I mapped it. I found the patterns, named the modes, and built the tools. This quiz is that work, finally pointed at you.
Not a diagnosis. A mirror, and a place to start.
This is for us. Not my clients, nor for anyone but us. Not to change you or diagnose you, and certainly not to tell you what to do. Who wants that! Hello, Sagittarius and Human Design Manifestor.
If it makes you feel a little less alone, like you've got a friend in your corner, that's exactly what I hoped for. See which mode is running the show, take what helps, and leave the rest.
The real you is closer than it feels. I promise.
With love,
